Stressors in a family

Every person is bound to have difficulties in life that cause stress, anxiety or sadness. Many people have different routes or ways that they deal with these hardships, and family is a great support system. However, what happens when a whole family is faced with a stressor that may weigh them down? This week in my Family Relations class, we discussed different types of common stressors that families go through. Divorce, death, illness, and money issues are common stressors that almost any family has or will go through in a lifetime.

A couple specific types of stressors known to professionals, are normative events, ambiguous, volitional, chronic, and acute. Normative events are self explanatory; they are events that are expected over the family life cycle, such as birth, marriage, aging, or even death. Ambiguous events are facts that are so unclear that a family is not sure what is even happening to a family, and it could be related to a loss of love or affection between two spouses, or unconscious thoughts and attitudes that drive families relationships apart. Volitional events are events that are wanted and sought out, such as getting a new job, going to college, or a planned pregnancy. Chronic events are situations that is long-term, such as an illness, addiction, or a type of discrimination. An acute event is an event that lasts a brief time and is certainly not expected, such as losing a job, breaking a limb, etc.

My professor, brother Williams, explained how whether the stressor or crisis event happens unexpectedly or expectedly, and that can be a big indication of how the family will handle it. Personally, I believe that it is the foundation of a family, and the love and support that they have for each other, that signifies how they will get through a crisis. Certain principles that we discuss in my Family Relations class, are tools that I know I will use in my marriage and in raising my children so that we can be prepared for trials. The gospel is not only a wonderful guide to any relationship or family, but healthy communication, love, forgiveness, honesty, and a stable environment are all principles that help a family grow closer together and create a foundation that can be stronger than any crisis or stressor that comes. Also, I feel like healthy families can also use these stressors to only build on their healthy foundation. Without trails, how would we know joy? Personally, my type of stressor event my family’s life, was unexpected and had a severe effect on my younger siblings and I. My parents got a divorce and my dad was no longer a part of our family. We moved from Kentucky to Arizona, and our life seemed to completely turn upside-down. However, in a sense, my family now is happier and stronger than we were with two parents. The stressor of divorce, shook my siblings and I and it could have been easy to use divorce as an excuse to misbehave and argue with one another, and even blame my mother for this tremendous change we experienced in our lives. However, we chose to make good out of a difficult situation and build better relationships. We saw how easy it can be for families to divide, so we realized the importance of families and tried to not let this crisis weigh us down and tear us apart.

I know that all families may be going through a trial or crisis in their life, but being able to identify it, work on it whether its through a professional or a progressing and healthy environment, and keeping the love that family members have for each other as the core of their life, their bonds will only build and not break.