Remarriage and divorce from my perspective

This semester in Family Relations, we have had the opportunity to talk about different structures and roles of the family. We learn about the traditional family also known as a nuclear family, that includes a husband and wife and their biological children. This type of family is said to be the best or healthiest for children to grow up in. Although this type of family is truly strived for, it is also not very common. This week we learned about remarriage and blended families. This topic is interesting, and the tips and cautions that Brother Williams offered, is information that should be known to every person, because at one point or another in our lives we will be faced with family difficulty or stress.

Some statistics that I was surprised by, is that 24 percent of couples who marry are likely to get a divorce. This statistic is increasing across the nation as well, which is so unfortunate! We may ask, why does a divorce rate exists and why is it increasing? Low education and young age are some factors and do correlate with divorce. Although there are probably many reasons of why low education and young age correlate with divorce, it reminded me of a talk I heard once by Elder Nelson, of when he reminded us saints that education is a commandment. He explained how there are many benefits to education, and overall, we gain so much knowledge through education that does help our brains grow and mature. Elder Nelson also explained how education will prepare us for marriage as well. Many people I have known or encounter, especially girls, get an education because it is a last resort, or they are just in school to meet someone and get married. Although every person has their own path and we should never judge or criticize, I feel like individuals and my own self, should appreciate education and the amazing value that it brings to our life!!

Other factors that increase divorce is pre-marital sex and cohabitation. Not having pre-marital sex is very rare in today’s world, and people may say that “it is a Mormon thing”. However, one of my classmates shared how she knew a sex therapist who works with hundreds or couples. Most of these couple’s problems stemmed from their actions before the couple even started dating. These actions included one partner or the other having sexual relations with another person. Our world portrays sex and hormones as needing to be fulfilled with any person who can meet that need or want. Sex was created to be a sacred and special between a married man and woman, so in my eyes, it makes perfect sense of why problems can exist between couples when they had sexual relations before their marriage. Although pre-marital sex is not a direct causation, it is a strong correlation.

As there are many various and personal reasons of why someone may get a divorce, the effects of divorce are long-lasting, especially if the couple has children. Brother Williams discussed how if a person’s parents were divorced when they were growing up, that person is more likely to get divorced because they have not seen a good or strong example in their lives of marriage. This fact does make sense and is a valid statistic, however I feel like with myself and some other close people in my life, great benefits have come out of a parent’s divorce. For me personally, I have become less naïve, and more cautious and aware of what I want in a man and in marriage because of my situation with my parents. I kind of got to learn from my parent’s mistake, because I was able to see their situation and the mistakes they made in their marriage. Because I was thrown into their reality, I can compare and decide the kind of person and partner I want to be, because I know the pain that comes from separation and divorce. Therefore, I do want to become knowledgeable about everything I can so I can have a successful marriage.