Family Roles

As the weeks are progressing in this school semester, so is my knowledge regarding what I am learning in my Family Relations class. In class this last Thursday, we were discussing the different roles that parents and children play in a family. Each person could be described as a "subsystem" because each person plays a different role that affects and makes the family as the whole unit that it is. Although each family is different because of cultural, environmental, and maybe even religious reasons, there are some common trends that exist within each of the family member's roles.

Brother Williams brought up interesting and factual points, explaining how first children are thought to be more independent, and orderly. The second-born child can be known to relate and connect with his/her mother more, while also trying to accommodate everyone in the family. The third child is known as the peace-maker of the family, and the last-born children are known to possibly be more spoiled, manipulating, and knowledgeable of how to get their way. These theories were especially significant to me, because it describes my family exactly! I am the oldest of four children, and I am the child that is tends to be more organized, independent, and mature because I did not have any older siblings to help or look up to as an example, therefore I learned how to do everything myself and "grow-up" a little faster than my other siblings. My younger sister who is the second-born child, is the person in my family who is observant, and earnestly tries to be accommodating to my mother and the rest of my siblings. Even though this is a common trend in some family units, I believe that it is also my sister's personality to be playful and motherly-like to our younger brothers, because she cares. The third-born in my family, is very quiet, content, kind-hearted and the ultimate peace-maker who is the rock of our family. He does not get riled up easily and gets along with every member of my family. The youngest-born son, is different than the rest of my siblings and I, because of the different way he was raised. Because he was the last-born and is far away from being the guinea pig, my mom is much more laid-back. He is also known as the baby of the family, so he gets much love and attention from all of his family members, which means he is spoiled and knows how to get his way, since he has gotten his way all his life from the people who love and serve him.

Another topic we discussed in class, is how a happy marriage between two parents, creates happiness within the whole family. I can agree with this statement, because the parents are the leaders of the family, and set the tone for how we act and treat one another. When my parents were married and showed each other respect, my siblings and I would reflect off of their behavior and therefore be kind to each other back. Personally, seeing my parents be affectionate towards one another, would bring me peace and joy, and I feel like that type of love affects children only in a positive way because of the good atmosphere that love brings. When my parents got divorced, the couple months that led up to the separation, was filled with anxiety and confusion. My schoolwork, social life, and spiritual life was negatively affected by my parents' contention. Now that I look back, I realize how much my family life affects my whole life. Families are the center of God's plan for a reason. Heavenly Father implements commandments and standards that we are to follow for a reason, which is to create joy and order in our lives. Even though my earthly parents are no longer together and sealed, I know that my ultimate example of love and devotion can be seen through my Heavenly Parents who do exist, and love all of their children.